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Friday, January 22, 2010 by Jen Ko
I remember in high school and how I layed in E's bed while he played Damien Rice - Blower's Daughter.
Do you choose the one you love more or the one who loves you more?
How can you define how much you love someone?
Do you believe that you will always love your first love that much more?
and when is it the right time to say goodbye?
I asked for him back tonight and I got rejected.
I always get what I want, I've always been like that.
I'm so selfish..
"because right now you play this I have no confidence game.
and you try to have your cake and eat it too.
and you rationalize it as I don't want to hurt anybody's feelings
but really it is just a form of selfishness" - a.
I think this was what everyone was trying to tell me.
I love J a lot, but things changed. I really need to cut him out of my life. I really do.
and I don't know how to make C trust me.
I huddled in the kitchen crying today because I felt like I didn't deserve to cry.
I sat there and I cried silently because somethings are left better unsaid.
and came out to find me and I jumped up. I cried even harder...
I always go with how I feel and I forget that there's some sort of boundary you can't cross.
and as I lay there in his arms crying I told him I loved him
should we just end things where they're suppose to be. In happiness?