can't figure it out

Right now i'm at work and i can't seem to figure out why I feel so unhappy.

There's so many things I feel unhappy with, a simple smile means so much to me, i sometimes feel like i have to put so much effort into it.

maybe it's because i sit here at work and spend time reading disturbing news.

on another thought, i always read murder stories. i just find it really scary and grueling. WHY THE FUCK WOULD ANYONE WANT TO DO THAT TO SOMEONE??

and why the fuck am i reading it? am i insane, disgusting? what kind of person does it make me? I dunno, i guess i just think way too much.

but, i'm sad and lonely at work. I don't know how to make myself happy these days, i really don't.

I really should start working, i have SO much to do. . .

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