oldies but goodies

I just cut my finger.
and i'm bored at work, i always feel like i have so much to write about but when it comes to actually expressing how i feel, i fail.

Bass real low - cataracs. (?)

i guess i always wrote in journals because i don't trust in people enough to tell them how i feel about myself. I think i'm overall a nice and down to earth person, i know you're not allowed to say that but i'm confident enought to know i am. i know i try to be a good person and it's a lot of work, but a lot of people tell me i don't take enough credit for the kind of person i am because i think being a good person is what people should be doing. you shouldn't be getting acclaimed for being a good person? wtf? right? so i don't feel specifically happy when people say i'm nice/humble/downtoearth because it just goes to show how sad our society is. I get praised for acting how a human should be?

just like the other day when i was at sports chalet buying UGGs and i was trying them on. The sales guy asked us if we needed any help and he asked us if we worked in retail. "people don't usually put thing back where it belongs, it's really cool of you guys." If we all helped one another wouldn't that make their jobs easier? HOW COME PEOPLE ARE SO INCONSIDERATE.

and i had this convo with P the other day, he says i need to "get out more" even if i don't like inconsiderate people because this world is filled with them. I can't be anti-social forever. I know i know, but this kind of stuff just upsets me. and it came to me eliminating people out of my life because i'm sick and tired of being a push over. I'm tired of always being the girl that says sorry, i am not saying sorry anymore if i didn't do anything wrong.

I feel like i spoil my friends because i say sorry or act like everything is okay for their sake. So things don't get too weird and i always thought that's what friends do for each other. But, it's not and i feel like they take me for granted.

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